also Birdy!!!! thank you for writing the lady spock prelude, you have enhanced humanity by at least fourteenfold and the fact that it graces my tag will forever bring me joy ok good night
I SAW LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO AND THEY WERE AWESOME!!!!!!!! NOW IM EITHER GOING TO PLAY POKEMON OR READ FANFICTION AND THEN SLEEP ENJOY MY QUE
this is bothering me now too i have at least three lady kirk or mccoy fics and one dude uhura but NO LADY SPOCK HMM.
how intese would it be tho. like ok im gonna. articulate everything ive thought about 4 years prepaer urself
so imagine lady spock. joining the federation and going through classes and becoming first officer to pike. and then the first movie happens and SHE BECOMES CAPTAIN. im pretty sure at this point in orig canon, women weren’t technically allowed to be captains. So she and pike basically say fuck the rules. spock you are acting captain of this ship. but then. kirk is assigned as her first officer and she can see his designs from the beginning, maybe before he even fully realizes them. he wants to be in charge, this is who he is, and she is in the way.
Her planet dies.
She loses her mother and her entire culture that she tried to keep in harmony with her life in the human dominated world of starfleet. She thinks it is her fault and she feels hollowed out inside and replaced with something she hasn’t had to deal with in years. She is feeling and she is feeling everything. She loves Nyota dearly, she loves her so dearly but if she kisses Spock like that one more time she will break, and she has to keep her first officer under her command and he tears open cracks he sees in a person to get his way.
And Jim Kirk plays her emotions and manipulates her pain, a pain he could never understand. a planet, a culture, is not a father. and she loses her shit, knocks him the fuck out because how dare he, how dare he insinuate she never loved her mother, the one tie she felt she had to humanity that she forced herself to cut almost completely because of the pressure put on her by vulcan society. And she is forced to step down as acting captain and is succeeded by kirk, the golden boy, the golden boy. and she can sense the other crewmembers, the ones she doesnt know so well, she can sense their vindication at her failure, especially the men, the white tall, burly men from security that think their misogyny so loudly she can taste it.
And she has to be loyal to him because her mentor, her friend, is in danger and HE is the one that trusted her with the captains chair and he is the one she feels deep loyalty to. And she follows her captains orders because thats what a starfleet officer does, thats who she is and that is who she chose to be.
She saves her mentor, she saves her planet, and she finds unlikely friends in Jim and Bones, although his comments sting too close for comfort and she will bring herself to confront him fully one day, tell him how each word gapes a new wound in her soul when he insults her for what she is, what she looks like and what she is not, above all. but for now settles with a private glare and a cutting remark and the knowledge that bones is not everyone, and that he is trying, she can feel it.
She finds out Jim Kirk was more willing to listen to a man that calls himself Spock from another universe for what to do in hers, that tells her it is her destiny to always play second fiddle. He doesn’t say it that way but thats what she knows it is. Jim Kirk is destined for greatness and you will catch his stardust and you will be happy because. Because Jim Kirk is our T’hy’la.
No, she says, you could never understand, Mr. Spock. He is your T’hy’la. He will never be mine.
And she straightens her back and walks out, hands clenched into fists and shaking, not with sadness or fear, but with victory, and she decides that she will catch no one’s stardust. She will generate her own.
I just really love the evangelion angels like. they started off being big smashy things that just sort of tried to break their way into nerv but then at some point it’s like they realized they’d have to deal with the humans before they could do that so they just got. progressively better at interfacing with humans until they got to one that understood humanity so well that he actually found he liked it and took lengths to try and insure that it would stick around
oh my god i just opened my blog when did i become an eva blog
i havent even seen THE LAST FREAKING EPISODE OF THE ANIME OR EOE OR THE REBUILD MOVIES AT ALL WHAT IS GOING ON